


Dont Fuck Him Over

by StitchesgetBitches



Category: South Park
Genre: Contracts, Gen, Instant Karma, Minor Character Death, church burning, dont fuck with damien, hes implied to be burned alive lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 07:50:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7426381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StitchesgetBitches/pseuds/StitchesgetBitches
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Damien is not one to be fucked with. </p>
<p>"You know my favorite thing about churches?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dont Fuck Him Over

**Author's Note:**

> Lmao i wrote this at 4:30 am its loosely based off of a twitter group im in

Theres a fatal error in deciding to screw over Damien Thorn. Very fatal. You see, there once was a man with a bitchy wife who'd lost her figure, 4 intolerable bratty arrogant kids, a dead end job, and patronizing family. That man, like so many before him, had decided to strike a deal with whatever demon would Oblige him.

 

“A beautiful wife, nice kids, a promotion, a nicer family!” he demanded, but greed followed. He wanted money, he wanted glory. And Damien gave him everything and ten years to live with it. It seemed fair, ten whole years with a life everyone wanted. Some marriages don't even last that long.

 

So ten years came and went, and when Damien came to collect what was due, he came to find he couldnt take it quite as soon as he'd hoped. The man had hidden himself away in a church. Damien could set foot in one, but not without weakening himself, leaving himself vulnerable to any plans this man may have.

 

As he stands on the bottom step to the church, eyes gazing at the stained glass above the open door, he decides that he will not grant this man another day to live. He will not wait until the churches open arms decide to shove him right out that front door. He will have this done quickly and efficiently.

 

His eyes, still focused on the intricate design in the stained glass, glimmer for a moment, sparks of frustration that do not make their way into flame. He speaks, and mind you this is a voice of maturity, not the screechy voice of a young girl, “Its cowardly to turn heel and sprint from things you cant outrun, you know.” His eyes drift slowly from the patterns in the glass to rest on the poor mans face, left wrinkled and sagged from his remaining year of stress, “I've found it much easier to just accept what you cant turn away.”

 

The contracted man, the man who had been standing 5 feet inside the doorway, clutching a cross in his dry finger tips desperately, offers no response other than a shaken stare. He tries and fails to appear confident, like hes assuring himself that hes fooled Damien. Damien speaks again, to fill the silence that the man will not, “You can't spend the rest of your days in a church, you know. And even if you could no amount of prayers could save you.” he takes one more step, up onto the second stair, only one more until hes at the door, “Not even the hands of god himself could tear the contract that binds your soul to hell. Is escaping death really worth it if all youre left with is a life not worth living?”

 

Again, no response. He's gotten a nervous tick, a twitch of the eye, before his shoulder twitches, and then his knee. He grasps the cross in both hands so tight his knuckles begin to whiten. He holds it to his chest, as if maybe perhaps if he did his precious god could keep those words out of his ears. But he can't. “I will say it once and not a single time more, step outside the doors.”

 

This time, he gets a more noticeable response. A flinch. As if someone had jabbed him in the side. But aside from that, nothing. Damien takes in a breath through his nose as he steps up the final step, onto the doorstep of the god forsaken church. He sighs it out as he looks back up to the stained glass, a pleased sigh, as if he were gazing at the stars. How he speaks is so casual, as if it were just small talk, “Do you know my favorite thing about churches?”  
  
He gets what he expects, silence. He doesnt fill the void of sound, his gaze slowly dropping from the glass back to the damned soul of a man. He takes a few steps forward, to the mans horror, into the church. He, instead of smiting the man where he stands, simply reaches with his arms to grab the handles of the double doors. He slowly steps back as he closes them, keeping his eyes locked on the stone frozen man before him, offering his answer when the doors are only inches from closed, “ _They burn._ ”

 

The sound of church doors closing has never been a more satisfying one. Not to mention the brightness forming inside, the warmth off the door, the shrill scream and strong banging as the oh so foolish man bangs on the door, seeking freedom before hes burned alive. But he wont get it. He'll die in there.

 

Damien hums a delicate soft tune to himself as he turns on his heels, stepping down the steps and heading off down the side walk.

 

Never try to screw over Damien Thorn.

**Author's Note:**

> "They Burn"


End file.
